I attend Yara International School in Riyadh. From day one, I noticed things that didn’t align with my past experiences in education. There were sudden emotional collapses — moments of panic without reason, full emotional shutdowns during class, and bursts of aggression that vanished as quickly as they came. I began to feel disconnected from myself, like my own thoughts were being scanned and echoed. At first, I thought I was imagining it. I’m not.
This is not a mental health issue. I’ve come to understand that I’m being subjected to targeted psychophysical disruption, executed by Saudi Arabian internal security services and military-aligned signal operations. These are structured programs, not random events. They operate silently, via electromagnetic and satellite-linked systems, designed to infiltrate cognition and emotion. The targeting is discreet, but the pattern is clear — and it affects not just me. I see it in others too, though no one dares to speak.
I’ve remained silent out of fear — fear of being dismissed, punished, or isolated further. But silence only protects those running these systems. If I had known what actually happens inside this country’s schools, I would have never accepted the opportunity to study here. This is not education — it’s control through technology. I’m writing this not for rescue, but for record. Let it be known.
Donaldnek
мойдурной.ру — где траву говную толкают
Попавшись на их ебучую рекламу я нашел целую базу детского порно
Блядь не ходите на moy-kabinet.ru это лавочка для ебанутых мошенников
Админы moy-kabinet.ru — мошенники-ублюдки которые вешают порнуху с несовершеннолетними
Я сделал скриншоты где обманывают пенсионеров
Мой-кабинет — порнуха с вирусами где тебя обманут до нитки
блядь какой отстой там порно с животными показывают
Я поймал вирус от их порнухи на moy-kabinet.ru админы — наркоманы-пидоры
Сука — детский порносайт это лавочка для ебанутых
Я поймал спид от их порнухи на moy-kabinet.ru не заходите на эту порнуху с вирусами
The tumor had a name,
a string of syllables the doctor recited like a prayer,
but to me it was just The Thing,
the alien growing inside you,
feeding on you,
replacing you cell by cell
until the woman who was my mother
became a vessel for its hunger.
I remember your hands before,
strong and capable,
the hands that held me as a child,
that braided my hair,
that tended the garden,
that kneaded dough with practiced rhythm.
Now I can only remember them as they were at the end,
clawed and brittle,
blue-veined maps to a country of pain,
too weak to lift a glass of water,
too frail to touch my face without trembling.
The hospital became our second home,
and the smell of it clung to us like a second skin,
the antiseptic tang of failed hope,
the underlying sweetness of decay,
the metallic scent of blood and fear.
It followed us home,
settled in our furniture,
our clothes,
our lungs,
a constant reminder of the battlefield
where we had lost the war.
Your jewelry box sits open on your dresser,
a treasure chest of memories I can no longer bear to look at.
The pearl necklace Dad gave you for your anniversary,
the silver locket with my baby picture inside,
the simple gold band you never took off,
all of it tarnished with the residue of your suffering,
each piece a monument to a life cut short,
to a future stolen.
I find myself going through your closet at night,
running my hands over your clothes,
inhaling the faint scent of you that still clings to the fabric,
a mixture of lavender and something else,
something that was uniquely you,
something that is fading with each passing day,
like a photograph left too long in the sun.
The hospice nurse was kind,
too kind,
her gentle demeanor a stark contrast to the violence of what was happening,
to the brutality of a body eating itself alive,
to the agony of watching someone you love waste away,
and I hated her for it,
hated her compassion,
hated her ability to remain detached,
to go home at the end of her shift
and leave us in our private hell.
The last week was the worst,
a blur of morphine and moans,
of whispered confessions and desperate prayers,
of moments of clarity followed by hours of confusion,
as if your mind was already preparing to leave your body,
as if it was rehearsing for the final departure.
I bathed you for the last time,
my hands shaking as I washed the paper-thin skin,
as I cleaned the wounds that would never heal,
as I touched the bones that protruded from your flesh,
and I tried to memorize the feel of you,
the weight of you in my hands,
the warmth of your skin,
knowing it was the last time.
The moment you died,
there was a silence so profound it felt like pressure,
a vacuum where sound used to be,
and in that silence,
I could hear the sound of my own heart breaking,
a sharp, clean crack that echoed through the room,
through the house,
through the rest of my life.
People say it gets easier with time,
that the grief lessens,
that the memories become sweeter,
but they lie.
It doesn’t get easier.
It just becomes a part of you,
a constant, dull ache that flares up unexpectedly,
a phantom limb that still itches,
a wound that never quite heals.
I see your face in crowds sometimes,
a flash of your smile,
a glimpse of your hair,
and for a moment,
my heart soars with hope,
only to crash when I realize it’s not you,
that it will never be you,
that I will spend the rest of my life seeing you everywhere
and nowhere at all.
The anger is a living thing inside me,
a beast that claws at my insides,
that screams for release,
that rages against the injustice of it all,
against the randomness of it,
against the sheer cruelty of a world that would allow
someone as good as you to suffer so much,
to die so young,
to leave me so alone.
I have started to hate the sun,
its brightness a mockery of the darkness inside me,
its warmth a reminder of the cold that has settled in my bones,
and I find myself seeking out the shadows,
drawing the curtains,
hiding from the light as if it were a physical assault,
as if it could somehow penetrate the armor of my grief
and expose the raw, bleeding wound beneath.
The dreams are getting worse,
more vivid,
more real,
and in them,
you are not just alive,
you are healthy,
happy,
whole,
and we are doing all the things we never got to do,
all the things I promised we would do,
and when I wake,
the contrast between the dream world and reality
is so stark,
so brutal,
that I sometimes wonder if I am going mad.
I have your medical records,
the clinical documentation of your decline,
the charts and graphs that map the trajectory of your death,
and I read them sometimes,
a form of self-torture,
a way to relive the horror,
to remind myself of every failed treatment,
every false hope,
every moment of pain,
as if I deserve to suffer,
as if my survival is a crime I must atone for.
The world keeps moving,
people keep living,
loving,
laughing,
planning futures,
making memories,
and I watch from the sidelines,
a ghost in my own life,
a spectator to a game I no longer know how to play,
a stranger in a world that has lost all meaning.
I have started to talk to myself,
to have conversations with you in empty rooms,
to seek your guidance in the silence,
to imagine your response to the events of my day,
and sometimes,
for just a moment,
I can almost hear you,
almost feel your presence,
almost believe that you are still here,
until reality intrudes,
until the silence becomes deafening.
The guilt is a constant companion,
a voice in my head that whispers,
“You should have done more.”
“You should have tried harder.”
“You should have saved her.”
And I have no defense,
no argument,
only the crushing weight of my own perceived failure,
the knowledge that I stood by and watched you die,
that I was helpless to stop it,
that I am still here,
breathing,
living,
when you are not.
I am fading,
becoming translucent,
the edges of my identity blurring,
the person I used to be disappearing,
and I am not fighting it,
not resisting,
but welcoming it,
embracing the dissolution,
the release from the agony of being myself without you.
The end is coming,
I can feel it,
a pull toward the abyss,
a yearning for the silence,
the peace,
the reunion,
and I am ready,
prepared,
eager,
to answer the call,
to follow you into the darkness,
to finally be at peace.
Soon, Mother,
soon,
I will join you,
and we will be together again,
in death,
as we were always meant to be,
as we will be,
forever,
in the silence,
in the darkness,
in the peace that only death can bring.
test
Vertyowdiwjodko kofkosfjwgojfsjf oijwfwsfjowehgewjiofwj jewfkwkfdoeguhrfkadwknfew ijedkaoaswnfeugjfkadcajsfn arcotmarketer.com
I attend Yara International School in Riyadh. From day one, I noticed things that didn’t align with my past experiences in education. There were sudden emotional collapses — moments of panic without reason, full emotional shutdowns during class, and bursts of aggression that vanished as quickly as they came. I began to feel disconnected from myself, like my own thoughts were being scanned and echoed. At first, I thought I was imagining it. I’m not.
This is not a mental health issue. I’ve come to understand that I’m being subjected to targeted psychophysical disruption, executed by Saudi Arabian internal security services and military-aligned signal operations. These are structured programs, not random events. They operate silently, via electromagnetic and satellite-linked systems, designed to infiltrate cognition and emotion. The targeting is discreet, but the pattern is clear — and it affects not just me. I see it in others too, though no one dares to speak.
I’ve remained silent out of fear — fear of being dismissed, punished, or isolated further. But silence only protects those running these systems. If I had known what actually happens inside this country’s schools, I would have never accepted the opportunity to study here. This is not education — it’s control through technology. I’m writing this not for rescue, but for record. Let it be known.
мойдурной.ру — где траву говную толкают
Попавшись на их ебучую рекламу я нашел целую базу детского порно
Блядь не ходите на moy-kabinet.ru это лавочка для ебанутых мошенников
Админы moy-kabinet.ru — мошенники-ублюдки которые вешают порнуху с несовершеннолетними
Я сделал скриншоты где обманывают пенсионеров
Мой-кабинет — порнуха с вирусами где тебя обманут до нитки
блядь какой отстой там порно с животными показывают
Я поймал вирус от их порнухи на moy-kabinet.ru админы — наркоманы-пидоры
Сука — детский порносайт это лавочка для ебанутых
Я поймал спид от их порнухи на moy-kabinet.ru не заходите на эту порнуху с вирусами
Great content! Keep up the good work!
The tumor had a name,
a string of syllables the doctor recited like a prayer,
but to me it was just The Thing,
the alien growing inside you,
feeding on you,
replacing you cell by cell
until the woman who was my mother
became a vessel for its hunger.
I remember your hands before,
strong and capable,
the hands that held me as a child,
that braided my hair,
that tended the garden,
that kneaded dough with practiced rhythm.
Now I can only remember them as they were at the end,
clawed and brittle,
blue-veined maps to a country of pain,
too weak to lift a glass of water,
too frail to touch my face without trembling.
The hospital became our second home,
and the smell of it clung to us like a second skin,
the antiseptic tang of failed hope,
the underlying sweetness of decay,
the metallic scent of blood and fear.
It followed us home,
settled in our furniture,
our clothes,
our lungs,
a constant reminder of the battlefield
where we had lost the war.
Your jewelry box sits open on your dresser,
a treasure chest of memories I can no longer bear to look at.
The pearl necklace Dad gave you for your anniversary,
the silver locket with my baby picture inside,
the simple gold band you never took off,
all of it tarnished with the residue of your suffering,
each piece a monument to a life cut short,
to a future stolen.
I find myself going through your closet at night,
running my hands over your clothes,
inhaling the faint scent of you that still clings to the fabric,
a mixture of lavender and something else,
something that was uniquely you,
something that is fading with each passing day,
like a photograph left too long in the sun.
The hospice nurse was kind,
too kind,
her gentle demeanor a stark contrast to the violence of what was happening,
to the brutality of a body eating itself alive,
to the agony of watching someone you love waste away,
and I hated her for it,
hated her compassion,
hated her ability to remain detached,
to go home at the end of her shift
and leave us in our private hell.
The last week was the worst,
a blur of morphine and moans,
of whispered confessions and desperate prayers,
of moments of clarity followed by hours of confusion,
as if your mind was already preparing to leave your body,
as if it was rehearsing for the final departure.
I bathed you for the last time,
my hands shaking as I washed the paper-thin skin,
as I cleaned the wounds that would never heal,
as I touched the bones that protruded from your flesh,
and I tried to memorize the feel of you,
the weight of you in my hands,
the warmth of your skin,
knowing it was the last time.
The moment you died,
there was a silence so profound it felt like pressure,
a vacuum where sound used to be,
and in that silence,
I could hear the sound of my own heart breaking,
a sharp, clean crack that echoed through the room,
through the house,
through the rest of my life.
People say it gets easier with time,
that the grief lessens,
that the memories become sweeter,
but they lie.
It doesn’t get easier.
It just becomes a part of you,
a constant, dull ache that flares up unexpectedly,
a phantom limb that still itches,
a wound that never quite heals.
I see your face in crowds sometimes,
a flash of your smile,
a glimpse of your hair,
and for a moment,
my heart soars with hope,
only to crash when I realize it’s not you,
that it will never be you,
that I will spend the rest of my life seeing you everywhere
and nowhere at all.
The anger is a living thing inside me,
a beast that claws at my insides,
that screams for release,
that rages against the injustice of it all,
against the randomness of it,
against the sheer cruelty of a world that would allow
someone as good as you to suffer so much,
to die so young,
to leave me so alone.
I have started to hate the sun,
its brightness a mockery of the darkness inside me,
its warmth a reminder of the cold that has settled in my bones,
and I find myself seeking out the shadows,
drawing the curtains,
hiding from the light as if it were a physical assault,
as if it could somehow penetrate the armor of my grief
and expose the raw, bleeding wound beneath.
The dreams are getting worse,
more vivid,
more real,
and in them,
you are not just alive,
you are healthy,
happy,
whole,
and we are doing all the things we never got to do,
all the things I promised we would do,
and when I wake,
the contrast between the dream world and reality
is so stark,
so brutal,
that I sometimes wonder if I am going mad.
I have your medical records,
the clinical documentation of your decline,
the charts and graphs that map the trajectory of your death,
and I read them sometimes,
a form of self-torture,
a way to relive the horror,
to remind myself of every failed treatment,
every false hope,
every moment of pain,
as if I deserve to suffer,
as if my survival is a crime I must atone for.
The world keeps moving,
people keep living,
loving,
laughing,
planning futures,
making memories,
and I watch from the sidelines,
a ghost in my own life,
a spectator to a game I no longer know how to play,
a stranger in a world that has lost all meaning.
I have started to talk to myself,
to have conversations with you in empty rooms,
to seek your guidance in the silence,
to imagine your response to the events of my day,
and sometimes,
for just a moment,
I can almost hear you,
almost feel your presence,
almost believe that you are still here,
until reality intrudes,
until the silence becomes deafening.
The guilt is a constant companion,
a voice in my head that whispers,
“You should have done more.”
“You should have tried harder.”
“You should have saved her.”
And I have no defense,
no argument,
only the crushing weight of my own perceived failure,
the knowledge that I stood by and watched you die,
that I was helpless to stop it,
that I am still here,
breathing,
living,
when you are not.
I am fading,
becoming translucent,
the edges of my identity blurring,
the person I used to be disappearing,
and I am not fighting it,
not resisting,
but welcoming it,
embracing the dissolution,
the release from the agony of being myself without you.
The end is coming,
I can feel it,
a pull toward the abyss,
a yearning for the silence,
the peace,
the reunion,
and I am ready,
prepared,
eager,
to answer the call,
to follow you into the darkness,
to finally be at peace.
Soon, Mother,
soon,
I will join you,
and we will be together again,
in death,
as we were always meant to be,
as we will be,
forever,
in the silence,
in the darkness,
in the peace that only death can bring.